OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
