Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
