my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
