idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
