Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
