Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
did i walk over a car last night?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize