apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
