one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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