Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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