just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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