Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
