i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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