I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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