Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
