nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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