3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
