Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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