Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
someone owes me an orgasm
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize