alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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