He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
