You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
