people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
