My Higher Power is John Stamos
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
