Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
