How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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