Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
