so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
