hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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