Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
