I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
