I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
