I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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