and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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