The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
