called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
