i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I smell stomach acid.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
