So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
