when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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