Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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