Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
