i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
