census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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