That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
