Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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