There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
