I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
