I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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