i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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