I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
