Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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