I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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