this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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