My friends, they love my intelligence
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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