I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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