We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize