i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We have so much sex to catch up on
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
