...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize