my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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