i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
