If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
