why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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