I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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