U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
