Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
tell me about the eggs
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
