Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
