I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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